Alias Father and I have been taking the childbirth class at our local hospital, mostly so that we can get to know the facility and the staff.
(Our local hospital is so small that they only rarely–very rarely–have more than one mother in at a time. They only have one delivery room, as a matter of fact. The birthing classes are taught by all the nurses, so you can get to know them before you go into labor. Also, my doctor lives a block from the hospital so she never hands patients off to the on-call doctor. She’s always on-call.)(See? There are benefits to small town care.)
These classes have been pretty unremarkable so far. They are exactly what you would expect, which means that there isn’t very much blogging material to be found there. With the notable exception of one of the dads, who is a used car salesman (seriously!) and cannot stop himself from making constant jokes about watching baseball playoffs during labor and how he’s going to pass out in the delivery room. He makes my husband, a man who has been known to burp out full sentences and fart in his brother’s face, look like the embodiment of dignity and restraint.
In fact, there is only one thing worth noting about the class. One of the other women, who is an acquaintance of Alias Father and seems like a lovely person, is so tiny that I can’t even believe it. She’s only three weeks behind me, which would put her at about 29-30 weeks, but she looks like I did when I was 15 weeks pregnant.
I know this is a really bad thing to compare. All women are built differently and show differently. She is tall, but with a very small frame, and her husband is only about 5′7″, which means that she is likely not carrying the Mutant Child of Doom as I am.* But is it really fair that some women get to wander through pregnancy with a teensy, cute little belly while other women (read: me) look like a snake that has eaten a water buffalo and also packed on about 15 pounds in the tail section.
Dear Mother Nature: bite me.
*I have my second ultrasound next week to see if my low-lying placenta has moved. Anyone want to take bets on how big this kid is?
September 21, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Dear Alias Mother,
I’m one of those small women with small tummies, but let me tell you, things aren’t always so sunny in the Little Women’s Tummyland. It can be annoying to hear how small you are, and how people look at you questioningly when you tell them there are only four weeks to go. I have a friend who is due one month later than me and her belly is much larger than mine (which she is also happy to point out).
As a Chairwoman of the Small Pregnant Tummies’ Support Group, I hope you will celebrate the large and lovely belly you do have. :-)
Best wishes,
Mamma Mia
September 22, 2007 at 12:24 am
My comment seems to have gotten eaten.
If I recall, I remarked on how amazing it is that you are delivering in a place with ONE delivery room. The hospital we’ll be driving to in a panic delivers more babies than all of the other hospitals in the city (and that’s a fair number) combined. They make da babies in this hospital.
I also took a guess at the Mutant Child’s size… 5lb 9oz and 15″ long. Is that mean?
October 4, 2007 at 11:44 am
[...] celebrate our view into the womb, I think we should take guesses (a la Alias Mother) on just how big our Olive has gotten. Everyone post your conjectures on weight and height as a [...]